Enjoy this week’s guest post from financial therapist, Nicole Iacovoni, and start to date your money.
Confession: I was a “bad girlfriend” to my money.
I kept saying I wanted money to be around more and acted like I couldn’t get enough of it. I remember whining to my girlfriends about not making enough money and the advice was always the same; if you work hard you’ll get ahead.
So, I kept hustling and grinding in my business but every month, the amount I owed in bills was always more than the money coming in. That led me to believe that either my lady friends didn’t know what they were talking about or I was just a big fat failure who didn’t have what it takes.
I wanted to give up – on money, on my business and on myself. Deep down, I feared and resented money. I didn’t trust money to be there when I really needed it, and behind closed doors (in my own mind) I talked smack about money all the time.
No wonder money never stuck around very long.
Money kept ghosting me, leaving me feeling insecure and anxious. That “on again, off again” relationship was NOT my jam. The break up was MESSY, and I found myself in a real financial crisis. I was $87,000 in debt and losing money in my business every day. I had MANY ugly cries.
Money had left me – and I only had one choice. I had to move on. I had to start over and build a new relationship with money. And this time, I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than a steamy, passionate love affair.
I was drowning in debt and couldn’t afford to lose any more sleep at night worrying about how to pay the bills. There was no time to waste. I had to go the BLIND DATE route.
THE BLIND DATE
I’d been on a blind date before and let’s just say – it wasn’t a great experience. (“Please God, No! Don’t let the guy with the mullet, handle bar mustache and painted on black jeans be my date!”…That was the longest night of my life!)
Needless to say, I was more than just a little anxious about my blind date with money. I didn’t know what to expect. How was this going to go?
Would this date end in disaster? Would it lead to the love affair I was hoping for? What if I messed it all up? I hadn’t been on a date with money since…EVER…so I was feeling unsure about the whole thing.
When I first laid eyes on my money (my bank statement, expense reports and spending plan spreadsheet opened up on my laptop), I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I was SO nervous!
Little by little, I started getting to know my money. What it was good at, what it could offer me, what it had been doing the past few years, how it had been mistreated and neglected in the past. My heart really started to feel for money, it needed more respect – from me. It needed my time and attention. It needed loving up on and nurturing.
Money could give me what I wanted: time, freedom, control, security. But it needed me to give in return. In that moment, I could feel deep in my bones that I could have the love affair with money that I truly wanted, but I’d have to change the way I approached this relationship if I wanted it to work.
DATE YOUR MONEY
As a licensed couple’s therapist, I’ve helped hundreds of couple’s improve their romantic relationships and the relationship with their individual selves. One piece of advice I give EVERY couple to help deepen their relationship is to have DATE NIGHTS.
Looking at the techniques I use in couple’s therapy made me realize that money broke up with me in the past because I didn’t make it a priority in my life. So, right there on that blind date, I made a promise to myself and money that we would have lots of MONEY DATES together so we could keep our love alive.
WHAT IS A MONEY DATE?
Simply put, a money date is time you intentionally set aside for your money, to love up on it, flirt and play with it – A money date is quality time between you and your money to nurture your relationship with money, making it like a steamy love affair that will reward you with all your heart’s desires.
WHY YOU NEED MONEY DATES
Your relationship with money is just like a romantic dating relationship, if you flake out on your money, don’t make it a priority, don’t give it your time and attention, it’s probably not going to stick around very long.
Your money deserves to be respected and appreciated, just like you would want from any relationship. And money wants QUALITY time with you. It wants you to show up for it with a playful, fun and curious attitude. You do this by having MONEY DATES.
Money Truth: When you start loving money, it starts loving you back and it wants to be around you ALL the time to fill your life with joy, pleasure and financial freedom.
Every good relationship takes effort and your relationship with money is no different.
Dating my money led to a steamy love affair that completely changed my life. Once I started making my money a priority and spending lots of time with it, money kept coming back more and more. My business revenue increased x5 in eight months and I paid off $87,000 of debt in two years. I felt more confident in my money decisions and started earning my worth. I had no debt, I had financial freedom and could jump on opportunities to grow my business and make more money, reach more people, and have a bigger impact.
Now, I teach other entrepreneurs how to deepen their relationship with money, earn their worth and manage money like a boss so they can get results that are just as amazing. As a couple’s therapist with 15 years experience, I apply the same techniques and strategies I use in couple’s therapy to the relationship with money so entrepreneurs can have a love affair with money that transforms their business and their life- just like it did for me.
Nicole Iacovoni is a financial therapist for entrepreneurs who want to have a love affair with money, earn their worth and manage money like a boss- without giving up all life’s guilty pleasures or selling their soul.
Ready to start making time for loving up on money so it will love you back? Aren’t quite sure how to get started? Download my FREE Date Your Money Planner! It gives you all the juicy details on how to date your money, plus 7 sexy, flirty date ideas so you can kickstart a love affair with money. Grab the planner here!
You can follow Nicole on Facebook and Instagram.
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